If you can finish reading a book quickly and read two books at the same time, I truly admire you and am jealous of you! (中文)
When I was a kid I really enjoyed reading. I had a full collection of over 100 fairy tales and I had finished them countless times. I loved going to the library on campus; I used to go there almost every day to borrow books; I also went to public libraries very often.
However, when I was in the 5th or 6th grade, there was this one time when we had to write a review on books and my classmate and I picked a storybook to work on. My classmate's mother got upset and said to my classmate that we shouldn't pick a book that's meant for students in the 3rd grade or lower.
After that I started to notice I was having trouble finishing books that contain a lot of words or are more complicated. I remembered there was a biography of an ancient Chinese which I had read it from the beginning many times and still hadn't been able to finish it until this day. Lol.I thought I was too lazy and having very little patience for long stories.
From that point onwards, I have finished a limited amount of books... except textbooks lol. I always feel like I'm probably just not that smart or I simply don't like reading. Everybody has his own strengths and reading isn't one of mine. I can't barely finish a news article online if it's not about a topic I am very interested in; not to mention reading newspaper, entertainment is probably the only section I am able to read through everything. Haha.
Of course I still have finished some books fully, but it normally takes me an extended amount of time. I have to read them word by word; it is impossible for me to read by sentence or by paragraph. I would get nothing out of a chapter or a paragraph if I try to read fast. This is when I feel like a careful reader; I like to read through every single word the author was trying to express as if I am savoring it.
Since I became an adult, the book I finished reading in one day is: Good Luck. I was able to do it because I had to write a review for this book as an assignment and also this is a good book though.
The only book that I finished in two days is about traveling from a Taiwanese writer which is now discontinued...
Alright, back to business.
Are you a fan of e-books?
I so wish I were one! However I really need hardcopies to get the information into my brain. Sometimes I have to use a ruler to help keep track on where I am reading. Otherwise I tend to jump lines and get lost in words. The way my ex used to prepare his exams in school was to read solely on his computer and then he's ready to go. I think this is some sort of a super skill. I always have to take notes while reading on a computer; if I skip note-taking I would remember nothing!
When I started my studies here I had to write papers, edit them, look for information and organize citations and references. Oh my Lord, I really need everything on paper so that I can get the work done properly. Especially when it comes to group papers, I really had to get them on paper. I thought I was just being extra cautious for my editing and grades (and maybe I am, lol).
I remember there was this subject which we'd get assignment every week to read a few chapters in the textbook and write analytics. Holy, it was so painful for me at that time. My friend who was studying the same book told me to just scan and skim and find relevant content for the assignment. I really just didn't get it because I would get NOTHING if I do the scan and skim!
This also happened to me when I was preparing for IELTS exam. The reading part always killed me. My friend who was helping me at that time would tell me the same thing, "just scan and skim!" And I just couldn't do!
Now that I think of it, I basically started struggling with reading exams since high school. I always had a hard time finishing the exams. I have never been good at speed reading, but I always thought I was just lazy and not into reading.
After all these experiences, I have never thought of the idea of myself being dyslexic until I started to taking courses from a trainer who is dyslexic and is not shy talking about it. Finally, for some reason just two days before my birthday last year I really felt like checking myself out, so I googled some information about dyslexia. I found on a website "37 common traits for dyslexics." It says on the website that dyslexics normally exhibit 10 of the 37 traits and I've got over a dozen! Finally I was certain that my weakness on reading has nothing (or not much) to do with my IQ!
Click HERE to look at the 37 traits.
Below I have listed some of my traits to share with you.
→Isn’t “behind enough” or “bad enough” to be helped in the school setting.
In elementary school I got normal grades, in the 3rd and 4th grades my grades were even at the lower 50% in class. In my 5th and 6th grades I was distributed to a class led by the best teacher of the school. In such a pushy environment I also worked my butt off and become a top 5 student of the class. To give you an idea on how competitive it was: back then the grades of the student of the 5th place were higher than the top 1 students of other classes.
Once a teacher was giving us a speech and she mentioned that one of the top students of the class was classified as "slower developed" at the admission exams, but this student managed to get to one of the tops.
It was obviously me because all of the top students had been always in the top since the 1st grade except me. I was a weird kid that when I heard this information I just felt "hey, so I have caught up with you guys!" I actually felt proud! Lol.
→Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.
That's right! I've always feel myself stupid, or not so clever. Besides the fact that I got to know I was slower developed when in elementary school, I have been very behind when it comes to anything related to reading. I told my best friend this fact and his first reaction was "you are being too dramatic; you are just a perfectionist."
So I told him one simple situation which has been bothering me all my life. Every time I go to a museum or a exhibition with my friend, we would look at the same piece and read the description together. When my friend finishes reading I am only half way through it, regardless the languages. It really makes you feel stupid if you have undergone this situation all the time.
It also means next time when you find me standing in front of an exhibit and looking like I am observing and savoring it, chances are I am just trying to read all the description, haha.
Another thing is that I also tend to use compensatory strategies to cover my weakness in reading. I guess it's because my experience of being pushed really hard by the teacher in elementary school, I have learned how to tackle exams. I am not particularly good at learning to be honest, I am simply a bit better at handling exams.
→Reads and rereads with little comprehension.
I don't need to explain to much for this point. It's obvious to tell from the speed I read.
→Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.
I am so feeling this one! Usually I am able to hear someone's phone vibrates in the bag or drawer when the phone owner isn't aware of it at all. I could even hear the phone vibrate from my neighbor upstairs the other day. When listening to music or songs I tend to be attracted by certain instruments or beat, but when I try to share it with my friends no one is able to get it!
→Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.
Sometimes it can be very difficult for me to put my thoughts into words, especially when it comes to writing papers; I struggle every single time. There are times when my friend and I are talking about bigger topics, it would be hard for me to fully express my options. I'd have to send a text and a long e-mail back a few hours later. Haha.
Even when I am writing this blog post, I have been struggling expressing my experience, too. What I did to fix this is to write a very messy draft and then take my time to edit it. The biggest problem of it is that I would never feel like I am ready to write so often times I take forever to get started.
→Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.
Until this day my pencil grip is still changing. My handwriting varies from time to time and is normally pretty ugly lol.
→Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.
Those who know me would know that I am always late! Hahaha! Time management is always one of the biggest weakness in my life. Usually I'd feel like my day is ending without me starting to do anything serious, or I'd spend too much time doing one thing and left other tasks undone.
→Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.
I don't wet my bed, but I am a super extra deep sleeper who can't hear the fire alarm in her sleep. It is normal for me to try to have a 10 more minutes of sleep and wake up 1 hour later, or it is common that I don't hear my alarm. These have been bothering me throughout my entire life.
How do I actually feel when I finally realized I am dyslexic after having said so much?
To be honest I felt relieved. There is nothing to do with my IQ or laziness that I can't keep up with my friends in reading; it is because of dyslexia. I sometimes can't express myself well not because I am more stupid than others. I am not developed slower than others; I am just slow at reading.
I still do other things pretty well. I've earned a degree overseas at this age in my life (not gonna tell you how old I am, hehe). I didn't graduate with A grade but I got A- which is not too bad in my opinion. Speaking of the difficulties of dealing with words, I managed to lead a team paper to score the highest in a course that the professor was not easy to please. It had to be the most unpleasant team experience in my student life; I'd describe it as "too painful to forget!" Even though we scored the highest in our group paper, the final grade of this subject is the lowest of all. Ugh.
Anyways, I do believe it is a great birthday gift realizing this factor two days prior to the celebration. At least I am not as stupid as I have imagined all the time (I still don't consider myself as a smart one though haha). I no longer feel less worthy because I am not good at reading. I will continue to read what I like in my own speed. I am going to keep posting on my blog and figure out the most effective way for my writing. About time management, I am still waiting for miracle, lolol.
Accept your strengths and weaknesses; find a lifestyle that fits you the best. Live the best life! :D
Below are some links I used to get information about dyslexia:
English:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dyslexia/symptoms-causes/syc-20353552
https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/
Chinese:
https://www.parenting.com.tw/article/5087258
https://zh.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/%E5%A4%B1%E8%AE%80%E7%97%87
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